Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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