Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
