dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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