Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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