butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
