I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
