So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
