I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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