So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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