6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
