i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
