I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
