Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is this making any sense, because Iām puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
