If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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