Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
