She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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