There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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