Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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