I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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