He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
