I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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