this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
