it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Soap is not a condiment
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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