it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
