just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
