I just made out with a guy for $7.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
