This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My dick has a subreddit
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
