this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
