I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
