I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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