I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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