I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize