Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
