You work out of a Hotel?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So vagazzling was a success
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
