the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
