Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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