Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
