wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
