He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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