Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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