And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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