tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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