Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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