carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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