I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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