Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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