Is it because I queefed?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
