Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
