The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
