I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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