woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
