alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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