In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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