grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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