So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
