This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
