bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
