my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
