Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
