Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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