ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
