I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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