After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He kissed a someone with a penis
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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