Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Green mimosas i think yes
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's blow job season.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
