I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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