in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
