South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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